Professor Lolcat speaks out on UTSU elections
By Professor Lolcat, Dept of UR Mom
Issue date: 3/18/10 Section: Stranded
Deere Teh STrand:
Im sorree ive neglekted u. Iv been busy doin stuff (reade: nappin) n a whoale lot of othar stuffz. But u has been faythfull 2 me in my tiemz of plyte. U got my msg out 2 teh wurld. U were lieke dat hooman romen messngaer god...teh one with the shooz dat had wingz. U nevar ignoared me, Teh Strand. U were liek fb chat withaout teh offliene button.
I has big newz for ur reedrz. A huage scoop!!!111111 Aparently there wuz an studeant elecshion!!!11 Actualy itz not big newz @ all cuz itz regarading someathing called UTSU. Wut? U mean uve never heard of UTSU? Datz okay, silly hooman, no 1 else haz either. Im prety sure that UTSU's officea is locataed in teh basemant of that builading dat sells Metropasez. U know teh one outside <3 Howse? Ya, i nevar go there either. Anyhooz, teh Metropass Offiace wuz appareantly teh subjeact of this recent eleckshun. Dis place wuz a warzeonen!!!
From wut I gathaer, there wuz one teem dat really <3 'd Pokemon Red (for copee-rite reesonz tehy colouraed themselzvez Orange) n tehere wuz 1 team who rly <3 'd Pokamon Leef Greean (again, copy-riet issuez maede them forgow their leefy green color - they adaopted a more Emarald Green). N let me tel u, deer readar, this wuz 1 crayzeee battel!!!11
Teh setting? Teh Office of Metropasez. Ammount of ppl dat cared: negative 1 pizza slice.
I has heere a transcaript of how teh battel went down. Pls let teh historree books show dat diz is compleately uneditted (much lieke dat rag Teh Varsittee):
A wild ORANGE TEEM attacked! Wild Orange sent out CHANGE!111!! "Get'm, Green!11" said teh GREEN TEEM.
Green sent out STRAONGER TOEGETHER!! Ladyz n gentelmen we haz ourself a battel of epic proporationz! Itz liek a Pidgey against Rattatata!11111
CHANGE uzed MIMIC! Obama's presidentail campaign wuz coppied!!
STRAONGAER TOEGATHER uzed HARDEN!!1 STRAOGNER TOGETAHER wuz strengethend!!!1
Bcuz my naeme is not Profesor Spoilercat, i wont tell u who won dis increasingaly irrelavent elecshun. U will have undeoubtedly stoped caring by teh time u finish reedin my elegant proze, so insted i will leeve u /w a fun fact for teh day: UTSU, in japaananese, meenz "to strike" or "to hit" in Engalish. Wutz that? U forgot wut UTSU wuz? Hoomanz r so stoopd sometiemz. Itz teh Universitay of Toroanto Small Ukelelale club, obvisoualy. Teemz Green n Orange wanted 2 both rool UTSU, but they coudlnt get along. Too many tiny stringed instruaments spoil teh broth, so 2 speak. So dey burdened teh vote on 2 u, deer reeder. Did u vote? Wait... let me rephrase dat question. Do u believ in Santacat? I didnt think soo.
Im sorree ive neglekted u. Iv been busy doin stuff (reade: nappin) n a whoale lot of othar stuffz. But u has been faythfull 2 me in my tiemz of plyte. U got my msg out 2 teh wurld. U were lieke dat hooman romen messngaer god...teh one with the shooz dat had wingz. U nevar ignoared me, Teh Strand. U were liek fb chat withaout teh offliene button.
I has big newz for ur reedrz. A huage scoop!!!111111 Aparently there wuz an studeant elecshion!!!11 Actualy itz not big newz @ all cuz itz regarading someathing called UTSU. Wut? U mean uve never heard of UTSU? Datz okay, silly hooman, no 1 else haz either. Im prety sure that UTSU's officea is locataed in teh basemant of that builading dat sells Metropasez. U know teh one outside <3 Howse? Ya, i nevar go there either. Anyhooz, teh Metropass Offiace wuz appareantly teh subjeact of this recent eleckshun. Dis place wuz a warzeonen!!!
From wut I gathaer, there wuz one teem dat really <3 'd Pokemon Red (for copee-rite reesonz tehy colouraed themselzvez Orange) n tehere wuz 1 team who rly <3 'd Pokamon Leef Greean (again, copy-riet issuez maede them forgow their leefy green color - they adaopted a more Emarald Green). N let me tel u, deer readar, this wuz 1 crayzeee battel!!!11
Teh setting? Teh Office of Metropasez. Ammount of ppl dat cared: negative 1 pizza slice.
I has heere a transcaript of how teh battel went down. Pls let teh historree books show dat diz is compleately uneditted (much lieke dat rag Teh Varsittee):
A wild ORANGE TEEM attacked! Wild Orange sent out CHANGE!111!! "Get'm, Green!11" said teh GREEN TEEM.
Green sent out STRAONGER TOEGETHER!! Ladyz n gentelmen we haz ourself a battel of epic proporationz! Itz liek a Pidgey against Rattatata!11111
CHANGE uzed MIMIC! Obama's presidentail campaign wuz coppied!!
STRAONGAER TOEGATHER uzed HARDEN!!1 STRAOGNER TOGETAHER wuz strengethend!!!1
Bcuz my naeme is not Profesor Spoilercat, i wont tell u who won dis increasingaly irrelavent elecshun. U will have undeoubtedly stoped caring by teh time u finish reedin my elegant proze, so insted i will leeve u /w a fun fact for teh day: UTSU, in japaananese, meenz "to strike" or "to hit" in Engalish. Wutz that? U forgot wut UTSU wuz? Hoomanz r so stoopd sometiemz. Itz teh Universitay of Toroanto Small Ukelelale club, obvisoualy. Teemz Green n Orange wanted 2 both rool UTSU, but they coudlnt get along. Too many tiny stringed instruaments spoil teh broth, so 2 speak. So dey burdened teh vote on 2 u, deer reeder. Did u vote? Wait... let me rephrase dat question. Do u believ in Santacat? I didnt think soo.
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Betina
posted 3/29/10 @ 1:33 AM EST
Professors probably do spend their time off napping.
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