Life sucks: great thinkers have their say
By Karolina Dejnicka and Nick Duranleau
Issue date: 11/10/09 Section: Stranded
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God is dead, and we have killed him because we suck. Therefore, life sucks.
Blaise Pascal
It's a better bet to believe that life sucks than to disagree, because that way one has nothing to lose, but everything to gain.
John Locke
Man has several natural rights, but he doesn't always get them in reality because life sucks.
William Paley
Just as the intricacy of a watch necessitates a designer, so the complexity of the manner in which life sucks on earth necessitates a creator.
Thomas Hobbes
People let monarchs take over because life sucks without them.
Jean Jacques Rousseau
Life sucks, so people form a social contract to make it suck less.
Heraclitus
Life sucks because I hate people and because you can never step in the same river twice.
Sigmund Freud
Life sucks. The use of the word "sucks" in this statement clearly reflects the author's envy of males and their magical genitalia.
Carl Jung
Life sucks because everyone is repressed.
Niccolo Machiavelli
Life sucks until you secure political power.
Cicero
Life sucks because all my contemporaries find me intolerable.
Plato
There exist forms - perfect ideals - in the heavens, but life on earth sucks so we can't imitate it.
Aristotle
Life sucks because students are forced to read my drivel.
Socrates
Why does life suck? What is life? Are you certain?
Zeno
A change in the way in which life sucks is just an illusion. There is no such thing as change. Life sucks to the same extent all the time.
Bertrand Russell
If I were to claim that there was a teapot in orbit around earth that was so small that we could not detect it, life would still suck.
Jeremy Bentham
Life sucks for many because of the few. This should be the opposite.
Rene Descartes
Life sucks, therefore it exists. If it did not exist, how could it suck?
Karl Marx
When life sucks enough, the masses will rise up spontaneously and classes will be eliminated.
Vladimir Lenin
Life sucks. Let's stage a coup so the peasants can follow in our lead and revolt.
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
Life will continue to suck until something happens to conflict with that scenario. The synthesis of the two will hopefully suck less.
Epicurus
Unless you are constantly eating and/or fornicating, life sucks.
Adam Smith
Life should be free so that the invisible hand of suckiness can regulate it.
John Stuart Mill
The decisions that are made in life should be the ones that make life suck to the least extent and for the least amount possible.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Life sucks because it is pointless.
Albert Camus
Life is pointless because it sucks.
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