Perma-happy people scare me
By Betina Alonso, News Editor
Issue date: 11/10/09 Section: Opinions
It's your attitude that defines what happens around you. If you want a special someone in your life, says The Secret, you can attract them by saving up space for their clothes in your closet. If change occurs abruptly in your life, you can either face it as a blessing or a curse, say the authors of Who Moved My Cheese? It is entirely your choice, so goes the ethos of positive thinking. It has apparently become a sin to acknowledge the occasional hazards of being alive, recognize problems for what they are, and embrace that not everything, all the time, is just peachy. We should adapt to whatever change occurs in our lives with a smile on our faces.
Everybody ought to be allowed to feel good if they have to, even if things are not necessarily always going well. The problem starts when this becomes a philosophy of outright denial, neglect and passivity. The reliance on self-delusion in the self-help optimism culture makes it almost cruel to burst its rainbow-coloured, glittery bubble by pointing out that sometimes, just sometimes, things just suck and there is not a whole lot positive about them.
A pinch of rationality will also have you, without much effort, reminded that positive thinking does not always make the world bow to your desires. Regardless of how much The Secret recommends that you engage in completely bizarre, almost magical behaviour that completely ignores that other people behave according to their own personal agencies, things will not always turn out the way you want. Recent research by the University of Waterloo indicated that the common self-help remedy of repeating positive statements does not, in fact, make people with low self-esteem feel better about themselves, and might in fact make them feel worse.
There is also an oppressive component in forcing a perpetual smile on people's faces. It spawns a culture of obedience, passivity, and blaming oneself for our hardships because we may not have the right "attitude," as opposed to facing the very real issues in one's own life and in society. It becomes akin to social control when it prevents us from recognizing issues of inequality, poor leadership and discrimination.
It can also be, for those facing especially hard issues in their lives, particularly cruel to deny them the expression of righteous anger. Barbara Ehrenreich, a cultural commentator, when diagnosed with breast cancer, found that available support groups focused on optimism and turning things around, as opposed to allowing her to vent her frustrations. This experience compelled her to write Bright Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America, a sharp critique of positive thinking, focusing on corporate culture and the recent financial meltdown.
While some may benefit from viewing hardships under a different light, attempting to silence those who may feel otherwise is not actually helpful; it may in fact be insulting. Treating negative emotions as some sort of freak reaction is not the best prescription for good mental health. It might, instead, unduly pressure people with guilt about their own unhappiness.
Some of the greatest positive changes in society did not come from people that were particularly convinced that everything was going just great. The experience of being human is a mixed, diverse, complex bag, and the sooner we come to terms with this, the better our lives will be.
Everybody ought to be allowed to feel good if they have to, even if things are not necessarily always going well. The problem starts when this becomes a philosophy of outright denial, neglect and passivity. The reliance on self-delusion in the self-help optimism culture makes it almost cruel to burst its rainbow-coloured, glittery bubble by pointing out that sometimes, just sometimes, things just suck and there is not a whole lot positive about them.
A pinch of rationality will also have you, without much effort, reminded that positive thinking does not always make the world bow to your desires. Regardless of how much The Secret recommends that you engage in completely bizarre, almost magical behaviour that completely ignores that other people behave according to their own personal agencies, things will not always turn out the way you want. Recent research by the University of Waterloo indicated that the common self-help remedy of repeating positive statements does not, in fact, make people with low self-esteem feel better about themselves, and might in fact make them feel worse.
There is also an oppressive component in forcing a perpetual smile on people's faces. It spawns a culture of obedience, passivity, and blaming oneself for our hardships because we may not have the right "attitude," as opposed to facing the very real issues in one's own life and in society. It becomes akin to social control when it prevents us from recognizing issues of inequality, poor leadership and discrimination.
It can also be, for those facing especially hard issues in their lives, particularly cruel to deny them the expression of righteous anger. Barbara Ehrenreich, a cultural commentator, when diagnosed with breast cancer, found that available support groups focused on optimism and turning things around, as opposed to allowing her to vent her frustrations. This experience compelled her to write Bright Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America, a sharp critique of positive thinking, focusing on corporate culture and the recent financial meltdown.
While some may benefit from viewing hardships under a different light, attempting to silence those who may feel otherwise is not actually helpful; it may in fact be insulting. Treating negative emotions as some sort of freak reaction is not the best prescription for good mental health. It might, instead, unduly pressure people with guilt about their own unhappiness.
Some of the greatest positive changes in society did not come from people that were particularly convinced that everything was going just great. The experience of being human is a mixed, diverse, complex bag, and the sooner we come to terms with this, the better our lives will be.
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