Issue date: 11/15/07 Section: News

The stoic rhino: worth voting for

He must have been playing Kylie Minogue

An Australian man has been charged with attempted murder after allegedly shooting his neighbor twice. According to police, the gunman was sent into a rage by the victim's refusal to turn down his loud music, even after he was threatened with a piece of wood. Unfortunately, police were not sure what song was blaring at the time.
Associated Press.

Finally, a reason to vote

The infamous Rhinocerous Party, defunct since 1993, is back and has made some of its zaniest promises yet. Rechristened with the party name neorhino.ca, the Rhinos guarantee "weekly orgasms," imposing a diet on Stephen Harper, and changing the Department of Defense to the "Ministry of Laughter." Considering that nearly half of all Canadians don't bother to vote, an absurd platform could be the odd-toed ungulates' key to victory.
Canadian Press.

Jonesing for a bizarre soda?

Jones Soda Co., known for its unusual flavours and bottle art, is upping the ante this holiday season. For the Christians, new drinks "Christmas Tree" and "Christmas Ham" will be introduced, and those celebrating Hanukkah can swig "Latkes" and "Chocolate Coins" (that last one might offend a few). Sadly, there are no plans for Kwanzaa-themed beverages.
Associated Press.

Bovines have a cow outside McD's

Clever heifers staged a daring escape from a truck parked outside a McDonald's last week. One officer speculated that the eight cows intended to "hop in the freezer, save the middleman" while another offered the better guess that they "didn't like their future." The two-hour effort to corral the animals was termed Operation Hamburger Helper.
Associated Press.

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