Strand Sex
Exposing a couple of BDSM-loving senior citizens to younger versions of themselves for our perverted pleasure since 1892
By Britt and Valencia
Issue date: 11/17/05 Section: Stranded
Hey Britt and Valencia,
Just wondering what some of your favourite toys are? Do you have any suggestions for someone who needs a good intro to toys?
Toys In Trinity
Dear Toys,
My favourites are belts, fists, and bags of oranges. Sometimes when I'm tired, I just throw her down a few flights of stairs. Hope this is what you meant.
- Britt
Dear TIT,
What's my favorite toy? What an interesting question! Many people abandon toys once they reach adulthood but, as you know, I like to stay youthful. When I was a child, my favorite toys were a little Carmen Miranda doll that came with three Brazilian dresses in the colours of the rainbow, a train named 'Choo Choo', and a rocking horse that was painted to look like a grand Arabian steed. I find that with the right amount of lubrication and a proper angle, any of these items provide interesting sensations when inserted in your hoo-ha.
- Valencia
Dear Britt and Valencia,
I can't stop having these dreams about animals. I want to give them kisses. What should I do?
Dancing With Wolves
Dear Wolves,
Women are a lot like animals, mostly because they're not people. Sometimes animals trick us into thinking they're human, but they're not, they're just fucking animals. Anyway, if I can have sex with a woman, you should be able to have sex with their intellectual equals in the animal kingdom, polar bears.
- Britt
Dear DWW,
Britt is obviously joking. SOME women are even BIGGER animals in bed than animals themselves! However, if you want to get down with an animal, don't waste your time unless the animal has a reputation for being an animal in the sack. Try the dolphin, bonobo, or the common house gerbil!
- Valencia
Dear B&V,
What if you are really attracted to someone and some part of their anatomy repulses you so much that you have to stop something right when you're in the middle of it and leave the room?
Just wondering what some of your favourite toys are? Do you have any suggestions for someone who needs a good intro to toys?
Toys In Trinity
Dear Toys,
My favourites are belts, fists, and bags of oranges. Sometimes when I'm tired, I just throw her down a few flights of stairs. Hope this is what you meant.
- Britt
Dear TIT,
What's my favorite toy? What an interesting question! Many people abandon toys once they reach adulthood but, as you know, I like to stay youthful. When I was a child, my favorite toys were a little Carmen Miranda doll that came with three Brazilian dresses in the colours of the rainbow, a train named 'Choo Choo', and a rocking horse that was painted to look like a grand Arabian steed. I find that with the right amount of lubrication and a proper angle, any of these items provide interesting sensations when inserted in your hoo-ha.
- Valencia
Dear Britt and Valencia,
I can't stop having these dreams about animals. I want to give them kisses. What should I do?
Dancing With Wolves
Dear Wolves,
Women are a lot like animals, mostly because they're not people. Sometimes animals trick us into thinking they're human, but they're not, they're just fucking animals. Anyway, if I can have sex with a woman, you should be able to have sex with their intellectual equals in the animal kingdom, polar bears.
- Britt
Dear DWW,
Britt is obviously joking. SOME women are even BIGGER animals in bed than animals themselves! However, if you want to get down with an animal, don't waste your time unless the animal has a reputation for being an animal in the sack. Try the dolphin, bonobo, or the common house gerbil!
- Valencia
Dear B&V,
What if you are really attracted to someone and some part of their anatomy repulses you so much that you have to stop something right when you're in the middle of it and leave the room?
